Narcissists more likely to feel excluded in social circles, new study reveals

Friday, February 21, 2025 - A new study has found that Narcissists tend to be excluded in social circles because of their disruptive behaviors, and if they feel left out, their arrogant and aggressive behaviors will only intensify.

A narcissist is generally regarded as someone who displays entitlement, lacks empathy and craves constant admiration.

Grandiose narcissists, also known as overt narcissists, are particularly notorious for their inflated sense of self-importance and relentless need for attention .

Unlike covert narcissists, who mask their behavior with self-pity, grandiose narcissists rely on charm and manipulation to thrive.

Now, a new study has found grandiose narcissists are not only more likely to feel ostracized but are also genuinely excluded more often than those with less egocentric personalities.

The study, published Thursday, February 20 in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, examined 77,000 participants across multiple studies, controlled experiments and real-world scenarios, to identify why narcissists experience higher levels of exclusion.

Narcissists often display disruptive behaviors in social settings, such as aggression or arrogance, that increase the likelihood of others distancing themselves over time. These self-absorbed individuals are also highly sensitive to social status and ambiguous cues, making them more likely to perceive exclusion even when it’s not happening, according to the study.

“There’s a very thin-skinned quality to narcissistic people, so if they even get a whiff that they are being left out, they’re going to be acutely aware of that,” said Los Angeles-based licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula, who treats people with narcissistic personality disorder and has written several books on the topic, including “It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing From Narcissistic People.”

“It’s picking up a glance or not liking a social media post.”

However, Durvasula, who was not involved in the research, noted these perceived slights are usually unintentional as someone may simply be too busy to engage with a post or look away without realizing it.

 But when narcissists overreact to perceived acts of ostracism, friends, family members or colleagues may start avoiding them out of concern for their behavior.

To navigate relationships with narcissists, Durvasula recommends intentionally withdrawing contact or interactions. Narcissists often interpret this behavior as exclusion, but it may be necessary for your own mental health.

Nevertheless, these actions create a destructive cycle identified in the study that explains how narcissism and ostracism fuel each other.

Narcissists tend to view themselves as victims when they feel ostracized. This victim mentality intensifies their antagonistic behaviors, pushing people even further away, said Christiane Büttner, lead study author and social psychologist at Switzerland’s University of Basel.

“This suggests that ostracism doesn’t just affect narcissists in the moment — it might shape their personality development in ways that perpetuate future exclusion,” Büttner said.

While the new study examined individuals who scored high on narcissism tests, it did not specifically focus on those with pathological narcissism, Durvasula noted.

She said she believes the effects of narcissism and exclusion would be even more extreme in individuals with clinical narcissistic personality disorder.

The study also found that individuals who exhibit narcissistic rivalry, viewing others as competition and acting more aggressively, are more likely to be ostracized than those with high levels of narcissistic admiration, who seek attention and status in socially engaging ways rather than isolating themselves, Büttner said. This pattern is particularly common in workplace dynamics.

“There’s actually a natural social perceptiveness narcissistic people have, which is why they can be quite successful in leadership and business,” Durvasula said.

However, narcissists typically only use this skill when it benefits them and blame others in most situations.

“Usually the (final straw) that gets a narcissistic person to therapy is either sadness or anxiety, but they will still often pin it to something happening outside of them,” Durvasula said. “My boss is never fair to me, I can’t get promoted, I don’t have enough money, my spouse is mean to me.”