Monday, October 28, 2024 – In a heartfelt and detailed post, she recounted years of emotional and
familial turmoil, accusing her father of disowning her and forcing an end to
her marriage due to what she describes as disdain for her happiness and modest
lifestyle.
The Facebook user, Awele Ideal, alleged that her father rejected her
marriage to a man who he believed didn’t meet the family’s wealth standards,
going as far as returning her bride price and disowning her. She recalls how
the incident led to tension and eventual divorce, despite her attempts to hold
her marriage together. Her story also touches on years of mistreatment from her
stepmother and alleged emotional abuse from her father, which left a lasting
impact on her family life.
She said twelve years after disowning her, the father reportedly reached
out, wanting to speak with her from his sick bed. However, she stated that she
has moved on, having found closure and strength through faith, and has no
desire to revisit her past pain. Although she forgave her father long ago, she
maintains that she does not want any further contact, wishing him well but
choosing to prioritize her peace.
Awele wrote;
Dear Father, I was told this evening that you want me to call you but I
told the Messenger to tell you that I won’t call you because I don’t want to
have anything to do with you and I don’t care to know what you want to say to
me on your sick bed. I forgave you long ago. I sincerely forgave you and
everyone who contributed to all the torture and heartbreaks I had experienced
in my life.
It’s been 12years since you did your worse against me for no reason at
all just because you hate to see me happy. 12 years ago, you returned my
Brideprice unprovoked. My Ex husband and I never wronged you in any way. Our
only crime was that we were not as rich as your other children and in-laws and
so you practically turned my husband (Ex) into your slaveee and for just the
one time he refused to run an errand for you because he felt disrespected by
the way and manner your message was delivered to him…
You my father had told my younger sister (step) to call my Husband (Ex)
and tell him to go and organize the water that will be used for cooking in her
traditional marriage.I could remember vividly how he took that message on that
fateful day. I was bathing my then 4months old Baby ChukwuMemofuma when my Ex
stormed the bathroom stammering in anger that he has never been disrespected in
this manner. I begged him to calm down and to put the blame on me because
such insult won’t come if he wasn’t married to me, I also begged him to allow
me speak to my so called step sister who delivered such disrespectful message
to him without regarding my feelings or consequencesof her action (how will she
regard me when I was nothing but a mere slave to her Mom my stepmother while
growing up) I begged him to put all the blame on me cos his marrying me didn’t
affect how they disrespected or disregarded me even though I am the firstborn
child of the family.
I later called my stepsister to tell her that she was wrong to
disrespect my husband that way and that she ought to have called me instead and
I would have gladly assisted her with the errand. She argued seriously with me
but later agreed to apologize to my Ex for peace sake. An apology I appreciated
but little did I know that after my Ex left me while bathing our baby, and he
called You my father to express his displeasure for sending him such an errand
through your young(est) daughter, someone who is the 4th child while me his Ex
wife is the 1st child of the family.
You my Father apologized to my husband (Ex) for your disrespect and that
made him calm. But little did we know that you had prepared the worse for us
because that same day you took money to my in-laws house and flunged the
envelope of money at my Father inlaw and told him that his son my husband (Ex)
is no longer your inlaw and that if your daughter (me) wants to remain in that
marriage that I stand disowned.
On hearing this ugly incident my heart broke a million times I went to
my village to report to your brothers who followed me to my laws place but the
only condition my angry in-laws gave them was for them to tell you to come back
and pick up the money you threw on the floor of the old man’s house. But till
date you failed to do it and called their bluff. I stood by my husband (Ex) and
was determined to make our marriage work, but no matter how much I tried, sand
sand don already enter my Garri and my husband (Ex) and inlaw isolated me for
the disgrace and shame they claimed I brought on them through my father’s
conduct.
I managed to remain in my already shaky marriage and even decided to
have one more child cos maybe that will unit us again but even the arrival of
my last princess (Kasimma) could not bring back peace and love to my marriage.
After suffering in silence for two more years, coupled with the drastic and
ugly changes in the character of the man I once married, I decided to leave
EVERYTHING I had ever worked for behind. And I picked up myself and my 3
Daughters and left my marriage with the little dignity I had left in me. I was
only 31 years old, afraid to face the Future and I was hopeless at the time I
took this bold step.
Father, you were not only an Enabler to the maltreatment I endured in my
stepmom’s hands, your own wickedness on me was worse. And I swore several times
that in my next life I will not cross paths with you even as a mere passerby
because I won’t want to throw greetings at you. You hated me for no reason even
though all I ever showed you was respect and submission as your daughter.
Two weeks after I left my marriage, I sent you a THANK YOU TEXT.
Thanking you for your role and contribution towards the destruction of my once
sweet marriage. You never responded to it. Only your Mother stood by me and you
hated her for speaking the truth against you… That’s why I Love Grandma
I later prayed God to help me heal my tender heart and to give me
the grace to forgive you and everyone who had stabbed me with unkindness and
wickedness. God answered my prayer and gave me the closure i desperately needed
and helped me to be able to forgive everyone and moved on with the broken
pieces of my life… I moved on ALONE WITH MY 3 Daughters who were just 7, 5 and
3 years olds.\
I got the closure I desperately needed from God. I got the healing I
needed from God. I got the courage to face life again from God. God has been my
only true source of strength till date I owe God so much.
Thank You Father, for without your hatred I wouldn’t have stumbled on my
inner strength. So I FORGIVE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. However, I am not
your child Sir, you disowned me in 2012 when I chose to stand by my husband
(Ex) and fight for my marriage because he never deserved the disrespect you
meted at him and you had no right to shut him up from expressing his
displeasure. Unfortunately, we finally Divorced and I’m in a better place today
with my peace of mind intact.
To show that I forgave you a long time ago, when you celebrated your
70th birthday in 2022, I asked for your account details from one of your
children and I sent you a big sum of money and a text message but you never
acknowledged it or responded to my message even though you bragged about my
gift but you never told me a “Thank you”. I did not regret being kind to you
once more despite all you put me through but I made up my mind NEVER TO LOOK AT
YOUR DIRECTION ANYMORE.
Thank you Father, but I won’t call you. I hear you are terribly sick and
bedridden but I won’t visit you or call you. Keep whatever you want say, I
don’t want to hear it. I wish you well Father. God be with you Sir. I will
stop here for now because I’m already writing a Book about my life to tell my
Story. But I
pray you see this before it’s too late.
NB:
Let none of you piss me off with unsolicited advice on this post. If you
try it, i will send you to my Block Industry straight. Be Warned.
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